idol eyes

//bbrRRRR.... bbrRRRR... bbrRRRR... // Your phone's alarm blasts at you. Your eyes begrudgingly open up and stare at the ceiling above you. It's time to [[get up|bedroom]] and get ready for your big day.

{ (set: $idolRep to 0) (set: $fanRep to 0) (set: $perfSkill to 0) (set: $danceLearned to false) (set: $eaten to false) }

You wash up and take a few minutes- Okay, several minutes- to tidy yourself up before heading over to the performance venue. You take a look in the mirror to hype yourself up. You don't why you're so nervous. You've proven your talent many times before. But now you've gone solo, there's no fellow members to back you up. No one but [[yourself|living room]].

The sink is littered with dishes from the previous days. You've spent night and day preparing for your debut. The cleanliness of your apartment has been the least of your worries. (if: $eaten is false)[ [[>>Eat breakfast.<<|eat]] ](else:)[The oats were filling, I guess.] [[>>Go back to the living room<<|living room]]

You step into the living center of your small apartment. The [[kitchen]] to the left is illuminated by a singular overhead light. A sliding door to the right acts as an entry to your small [[balcony]]. The hallway behind you houses the door to your [[bedroom]] and [[bathroom]]. At the end of the hallway is the [[front door|outside]].

Your bedroom is slighly lit up by the sun peeking through the slit in the curtains. It feels nice to not have to share a room with 3 other girls anymore, but sometimes you miss the company. [[>>Enter your living room.<<|living room]]

You take the elevator down to the lobby and step outside, covered by clouds of various values of gray. On the neighborhood street, your manager rolls down the window of the black sedan sent to transport the two of you to the venue. He waves for you to enter the backside of the [[taxi]] with him.

You look over the edge and confirm you are in fact living on the 5th floor. You wonder if the drop could kill you... Nope! No more intrusive thoughts for today. Let's go back [[inside|living room]].

The seats are cushioned with black fabric and there's a faint cigarette scent floating in the air. You recall the much nicer vehicles your group used to take with black leather seats and a sunroof and a spacious interior and- Enough. No more spoiled idol. So many idols go M.I.A after a group disbandment. You're lucky to even be able to perform once again. [[//"So how was your morning?"// |manager convo]] your manager begins.

//"I've had better,"// you respond. //"Oh, come on. This is the attitude you're starting off your big day off with? Haven't you been preparing for today for the past four months?"// You knew your pessimism this morning was contradictory to your months-long preparation of vocal lessons, song recordings, and dance practices. But [[why?|mc1]]

After you make it past the crowd, the Security Personnel confirms your identity and escorts you the main area of the [[backstage]]. (set: $girlTalk to false) (set: $boyTalk to false) (set: $practice to false)

The energy behind the curtains is like a zoo gone uncaged. Production Assistants are running around, idol groups are rehearsing for the main stage, and you're just standing there like a lost child. (if: $girlTalk is true and $boyTalk is true and $practice is true)[A P.A. taps your shoulder and lets you know it's your time to [[perform|performance]].](else:)[What will you do to pass the time before your performance slot? (if: $girlTalk is false)[A [[teenage girl|girl idol]] is rocking a puffy skirt, wearing layers of pink and white.] (if: $boyTalk is false)[A [[familiar looking man|boy idol]] is standing alone, leaning against a wall.] (if: $practice is false)[Some of your backup dancers are using a reflective window to [[practice]].] A couch seating no one looks like the perfect place to nap until your [[performance]].]

You take hesistant steps over to the young idol and notice her eyes glisten at your presence. //"Ahhh!!! Sera, what are you doing here!"// she screams. It's clear the idol has recognized you from your One2Love days. She fangirls about how much she loved your group and confesses that you were one of the reasons she began training to [[become an idol]]. (set: $girlTalk to true)

You make your way over to the tall, purple-haired man leaning against the wall. It seems he's in the same position as you, looking for someone to make him appear less alone. Wait, could this be the other soloist your manager was talking about? "Hey! You're that guy from..." [[//"...AfterSun!"// |aftersun]] [[//"...AlterSun!"// |guess]] [[//"...AfterFun!"//|guess]] (set: $boyTalk to true)

Against your manager's wishes, you relapse on the phone's dopamine boost. You take your phone out the phone and [[it's...]]

You sit in silence until the car reaches the venue. You step out, thank your driver, and immediately are swarmed by crowds of cameras and microphones. An insistent reporter yells. //"Sera, quick a [[question!|answer to them]]"// Your manager whispers in your ear. //"Keep it pushing, just [[ignore|ignore paparazzi]] them."//

You [[walk past|enter venue]], ignoring the paparazzi. They just want a headline anyways.

You take a few steps towards the loud reporter. //"Sera, now that you've gone solo, is there anything you miss about being apart of One2Love"// Ouch, you don't think the reporter realizes how loaded that question feels right now. Still, you try to think of a solid response. [[//"Not really, I feel much more confident now!"//|not really]] [[//"I miss my members!"//|miss members]] [[//"I miss so much!"//|miss so much]]

You pull out some overnight oats you had made the night before. As you take a bite, a twisted memory pushes its way to the forefront of your mind. //"You're really gonna eat all that? Didn't you hear management say we had to keep our figure."// Your trainee days are over, but it's clear the residual trauma still persists. (text-colour:yellow)[Well, at least you gained some sustenance for today's performance.] [[>>Eat the oats.<<|kitchen]] (set: $eaten to true) (set: $perfSkill to ($perfSkill + 5))

Your phone rings in the pockets of your jeans. "//Hey, let's [[ignore|arrive]] that for now. Take a mental break before we break into the storm."// Erghhhhh. [[Who is trying to get to you|check phone]], though?

A P.A. walks you to the side of the stage. You can see the Emcee standing in a plaid suit as he begins. "//From the jubilent One2Love, she's here to make her debut as a soloist with her song, ''Forever''. Everyone, please welcome to the stage, [[Sera!|performance start]]//

You join your crew, making use of the small space and the reflection in the window to refresh your dance skills. One of your dancers reminds you. //"Have you done your vocal warm ups, yet?''// Oh god, you almost forgot. Better [[do that right now|vocal warmup]]! (set: $perfSkill to ($perfSkill + 10)) (set: $practice to true)

The first few videos are just petty influencer drama, awkward AI-generated ads, and silly cat videos. You swipe past and come across a dance video of a newer group called [[Spark.L]].

You pass through a few more videos until you stumble across a familiar face. It's a fancam of you from your One2Love days covered with text. //"Is anyone else excited to finally see Sera redebut as a soloist."// Your heart flutters with happiness until you instinctively press the comment section button. //"ugh why her out of the 4 O2L members tho"// (text-colour:red)[...Ouch, there goes part of my] [[confidence|arrive]]. (set: $perfSkill to ($perfSkill - 5))

//"Yep! That's me, hah!"// He exclaims nervously. You can tell he was feeling awkward just standing alone like you were. (text-colour:yellow)[He looks glad to finally have someone to ][[speak|idol talk]] (text-colour:yellow)[with.] (set: $idolRep to ($idolRep +5))

//"...You mean AfterSun?"// (text-colour:red)[Uh oh. Not a good impression.] //"Oh! I'm so sorry! It's been a high stress day!"// you apologize. You can tell there's an awkwardness to the air now, but you try to push through and start a [[conversation|idol talk]]. (set: $idolRep to ($idolRep - 5))

//"Lee Yujin, it's nice to meet you,"// he introduces. //"Sera, and same here."// You don't know much about Yujin and his career, so you use this as an opportunity to get to know him better. //"So, how long have you been performing solo?"// [[you ask|What about you?]].

//"Oh, really... well, thank you for the answe-"// A security guard starts running towards the two of you. //"HEY! [[You cannot be in here!]]"//

You [[walk away|backstage]], leaving the employee to go back to doing something useful instead of gossiping.

After finishing your encore stage, you travel backstage one last time feeling nothing but pride, relief, and joy. You've cemented yourself as someone to keep an eye out for, with or without group members standing next to you. Still, you can't help but feel like you've made some enemies within the industry today. (text-colour:yellow)[Maybe it's worth getting on the good sides of your fellow idols...] END.

After finishing your encore stage, you travel backstage one last time feeling nothing but pride, relief, and joy. All the doubts your head told you were finally eliminated. With your fellow idols cheering you on, you know you'll be able to tackle anything! The industry has welcomed back a beast! END.

Despite voicing your insecurities just before in the taxi, you take the chance to hype yourself up. //"Hmm, so you think your group was dragging you down before?"// Leave it up to these drama-hungry journalists to twist your words. You try to recover but it's too late. (text-colour:red)[You already know this mini-interview is bound to piss some of your former group's fans off.] You simply keep it pushing and [[enter the venue. |enter venue]] (set: $fanRep to ($fanRep - 5))

As pathetic as it might sound, you voice your loneliness and rant about how much you adored performing alongside the other three members of your group. (text-colour:yellow)[The group of fans, reporters, and even the cameramen around you all begin to "Awwww" at your sweet response.] After warming everyone's heart up, you push it foward to [[enter the venue.|enter venue]] (set: $fanRep to ($fanRep + 10))

You take the vague road and simply state that you miss it all. The reporter was hoping for something more juicy, but at least you got her off your back! With that mission done, you push through the crowd to [[enter the venue. |enter venue]]

You might not have won, but you're still happy to get over with this day. You tried your hardest and pushed yourself into a place you never thought you'd have the confidence be. (text-colour:yellow)[At least now, you know what tools you'll need to succeed.] END.

//"Look, I know the music show performance days are always hectic, but I know you have what it takes, kid."// //"I just feel like today is going to be so much more difficult without my members, you know? Like I got up today and it was so... empty."// You can vividly remember the days where a music show performance day included three other girls filled to the rim with glee. Without their energy today, everything just feels... [[lonely]].

"//Maybe, I was just missing the routine and not the actual performing aspect. I just didn't realize how stressful today would be without my girls beside me. // For years, you had performed alongside three talented girls in a four-member girl group act, One2Love. Unfortunately, all good things have to come to an end. When the 5-year contract ended two years ago, the company decided not to resign and the four of you were forced to split up. "I mean, do you think people will even care about me [[debuting solo]]."

Your manager reassures you. //"Sera, there are so many solo acts in the industry now. Chung Ha, BiBi, Kang Daniel. Even that one guy from AfterSun is performing today, too."// //"Sure, but there's so many groups performing, too. Will I even be able to [[compete with them?]]"//

//"Look, Sera, they might have the fans and the youth, but you have the experience and the perserverance. Don't you remember how hard you cried when your group's contract ended, thinking it was the end of the career? Now look at you. About to step on stage and show the world what you've got. Do not let your inner demons [[throw this chance away.]]"//

Hmph. You knew your manager was right. In the final years of One2Love, he acted as your group's managers. When you made the decision to step back into the stoplight, you begged him to help manage your career as a soloist. You knew better than to ignore his [[positive affirmations]].

//"Alright, Alright. I'll try to be more optimistic about today."// You cannot deny his words have lifted your spirits. You make sure his words don't go without gratitude. //"Thank you, by the way. You've helped calm my nerves."// //"That's what I'm here for,"// he gently assures. [[...bbrRRRR ...bbrRRRR|phone notif]]

...just a TikTok Shop notification. And, no, you don't want a $2 faux snake bite piercing. //"Hey, no TikToK, okay? Nothing good ever comes out of those comments sections."// You can't help it. Now that you're there, you might as well take a peek at your [[For You Page.|fyp]]

//"Spark.. Ell?? Sparkle?? God, these group names just get weirder and weirder,"// you whisper to your manager. //"Says the girl from a group called One2Love."// You chuckle in response. Yeah, it was a weird name for group with 4 members. You recalled haters heckling "Only2Sales." You weren't even that unpopular, but it still stung. [[//"Spark.L, huh?//|spark.l dance]]

You shift focus back onto these energetic idols showcasing the dance to their newest comeback. You're entraced. (text-colour:yellow)[The moves are so simple yet so captivating.] You can't help but rewatch it over and over, trying to recreate their movements as much as you can in the backseat of a car. When you think you've finally got it down, you continue your [[scroll.|hate comment]] (set: $danceLearned to true)

You show your thanks to the starstruck idol. //"Thank you, really. I'm... quite flustered, aha!"// You didn't even consider that other performers would be excited to see you back. That realization makes you feel a little less [[insecure about yourself]].

//"Please, Sera. While I have you here, may you perform our newest dance challenge with me?"// she asks. (if: $danceLearned is true)[You take a listen to their song and realize this girl is from Spark.L, the group you hypnotically watched over and over again in the taxi. You accept her request and put your muscle memory to the test. The video clip is only 15 seconds long, but it's clear that your eagerness has made this girl's [[entire day]].] (else:)[You take a second to answer, but you just can't say no to her begging eyes. She plays the song's audio and begins teaching you the dance. You try over and over to get it down, but it just [[never clicks]]. ]

Quickly, the tech-savvy youth edits and captions the video before posting it across their social medias. T(text-colour:yellow)[he likes and comments immediately pour in.] She profusely thanks you for your time as you [[step away|backstage]] glad that there is still such excitement in the industry. (set: $idolRep to ($idolRep + 10)) (set: $fanRep to ($fanRep + 10))

The two of you start recording, but you keep messing up. After 7 retakes, the girl decides to take you out of your misery and cease recording. //"Hm, I think we got the video! Thank you,"//she says. You can tell she is unsatisfied with your incompetence executing their choreography but you still say your thanks back before you [[walk away|backstage]]. You don't think the video will get posted.

//"Ehh. For a little over a year now. This will be my 2nd comeback. What about you?"// You tell him this is actually your debut day as a soloist. //"Ahhhh, breaking your solo debut cherry, huh?"// he jokes. Your eyes open wide at his vulgarness, but you both [[burst into laughter|pushes through the laughter]] after your initial reaction.

//"Oh my god, I'm sorry, that was way too much,"// he pushes through the laughter. //"Heh, yeah, losing my solo debut virginity today,"// you joke back. //"It's nerve-wracking, right?"// Oh, he doesn't even [[want to know]]. Just getting inside the venue was overwhelming and you haven't even performed yet.

//"Ugh, it's just been a lot. Sometimes, I doubt if I even still belong in the industry," you share.// He nods sincerely. It's clear he understands what it's like to be in a battle with your own head. //"I get it, Sera. Sometimes, I feel as if I'm pushing past my expiration date. Like my time has ended long ago and now I'm like that graduated student who keeps coming back to regain some of that [[youth]]."//

//"But it doesn't matter what the industry wants from you. You need to think about what YOU want for you. Surely, you didn't spend time and money preparing for this debut because you didn't want it. I think you already know what you want, so make that happen!"// He couldn't have put it any better. You spent so long waiting for the day to be able to perform today, why let the the haters and your inner saboteur take that [[away from you]].

Yujin continues. //"Plus, a pretty girl like you will have everyone on their knees with praise,"// he winks. Between the inspirational pep talk and his attempt at flirting, you're left speechless. //"Yujin, you're on in 10,"// [[someone yells]].

//"Well, my time has come. It was really nice talking to you, Sera. I'll let my manager know to give you my contact information."// He winks once more delivering that final flirt. As he walks away, you can't help but feel rejuvenated by his... camaderie? romantic advances? Before you can make your way to your original spot backstage, a woman in a black uniform spelling out //"STAFF"// on his shirt's left pocket [[approaches you]].

//"Wow, he's really dreamy, isn't he?"// she asks. You're caught off guard. You were expecting to be reprimanded for being too loud behind the curtain or something. Still, you can't deny that, yeah, he was really dreamy. But why does it matter to this her? You answer... [[//"Yeah, he really is!"//|dreamy]] [[//"I'm sorry, I have to go!"//|ignore staff]]

You point to yourself, questioning if your imposter syndrome really was right about you not belonging here. //"No, not you! Her in black!"// You glance up and down the employee and it clicks. No nametag, no lanyard, no keys, nothing of use on him. As security escorts her out, you realize you just spilled your crush to some freak paparazzi who is bound to post an audio clip of your confession. As you [[walk back|backstage]] to the your original spot, (text-colour:red)[you try not to think about what the parasocial fans will say to you now that that's out in the open.] (set: $fanRep to ($fanRep - 10))

The backstage is rampant with noise, so you feel no shame in releasing the hums and ahhs from your throats. Now, that your vocal chords have gotten a little widened up, you should check if you can hit high note in your song, right? [[>>Try to hit that note!<<|high note practice]] [[>>Save that power for the performance.<<|save for performance]]

You play the instrumentals to your song and as the bridge ends, you belt... //"...we'll be forever... for-e-VERRRrrrR~"// (text-colour:red)[Your voice cracks midway through the note and you feel an ache sit itself down in your throat.] Uh oh. Probably should've saved that for the performance. Let's just [[settle down backstage|backstage]] and hope we can recover. (set: $perfSkill to ($perfSkill - 10))

You decide not to put any strain on your voice until your voice. As you [[walk away|backstage]] from your crew, you hope that you'll actually be able to hit that note on stage.

The stage lights completely darken. You and your backup dancers walk over to the glowing marks on the stage and [[wait for the beats]] to commence in your in-ear monitors.

//"tck, tck, tck, tck" "tck, tck, tck, ''tck''"// The instrumentals blast through your ears as you hit every move just like you practiced. The first verse begins and you [[sing like your life depends on it]].

You glide through the first verse and manage to keep it up through the first chorus of your song. As you whack your arms to the choreo and stab those notes like a blade in the second verse, you meet up with the second chorus. Your mind whispers to you //"Remember, the choreo is different in the [[second chorus.]]"//

(if: $perfSkill >= 5 and $practice is true)[As the second chorus begins, you thank yourself for attending that make-shift practice backstage. You easily keep up with the intense energy of your dancers as you spin and bounce into the [[bridge]].](else:)[As the second chorus begins, you try your hardest to recall what the change in choreo was. Maybe, you needed more practice, or more sustenance, or just more confidence. You decide to simply perform the choreo to the first chorus. Sure, you're unsynchronized with your dancers, but it's better than standing like a deer in headlights before the song's [[bridge]].]

The song's melody mellows down to the somber bridge. You're almost done, but the hardest part is not over. You mentally prepare to hit that [[high note]] at the end of this bridge.

The instrumental completely dies down, setting the stage for you and your voice only. You take a breath in and on the exhale you belt. (if: $perfSkill >= 10)[//"We'll be forever...'' for-e-vERRRRR~''"// The note [[flies out]] gallantly like a phoenix from the ashes.](else:)[//"We'll be forever... for-e-vERrr~~RRrr~~-"// You try to hold the note up, but it all comes [[crashing down]].]

Never have you been more proud of yourself in this moment. All those months - No - YEARS training for this stage and you proven your talent. The crowds commends your vocal abilities with applause, laying down a velvet road for you to [[end this performance|end of song]].

You're stunned. All that work just for you to ruin the most climactic moment of your song. (if: $fanRep >= 10)[As you gaze to the crowd in front of you, the illumination of the hundreds of light sticks and vibrations from the cheers revitalize your spirits. This hiccup was just one bump in the road. The highest part of the road, yes, but you can either swerve off track, or [[hold on tight|end of song]] to the wheel.](else:)[You gaze to the crowd, but are met with silence and darkness. Did I just ruin everything? Well, no place else but [[forward|end of song]], right?]

You push through the final chorus of this song like a warrior. No matter what happened before this last hoorah, you simply tell yourself to end on a high note, figuratively of course. As the instrumental ends, you pose and smile. The lights dim, and you're free to rest [[backstage|pre-announcement]] once more.

You plop down on the first chair you see backstage and rest your body before the weekly music show award winner is announced. For a moment, you wonder if there is a chance to win this week's award. Well, you'll [[find out]] soon enough.

You rest through the final performances of the night. 30 minutes after the last performer's stage, the Production Assistants begin rallying everyone up on [[stage]].

You walk back on stage with all the other performers and wait for a name to be called. The EmCee begins with the fluff but you ignore whatever he says until you sense the big moment arrive. //"...with all that being said, it's time to announce this week's music show award recipient"// You fidget as the producers hand him an envelope. [[Who could it be?]]

//"And the [[winner]] of this week's music show award is..."//

(if: $perfSkill >=10 and $fanRep >=10)[//"...Sera!"// What? Did he just- Huh? You look around making sure everything heard that, too. You? Sera? Winner? [[How?|sera wins]]] (else:) [//"...Spark.L!"// The girl group next to you perks up [[hearing their name|sparkl wins]] be called.]

(if: $idolRep >= 10)[You take the trophy and begin your thankful speech to the crowd. After wrapping that up, the emcee congratulates you once more before allowing to perform your encore stage. You look to the side of the stage and are met with even more applause coming from the sidelines. You smile more than you ever had as you [[complete your impromptu performance.|win good idolRep ending]] ] (else:)[You take the trophy and begin your thankful speech to the crowd. As you finished, the emcee congratulates you once more before allowing to perform your encore stage. As the idol performers walk off, you're met with a few dirty stares. Did I get on someone's nerves? Whatever, you shrug it off and allow yourself to [[complete your improptu set|win bad idolRep ending]].]

The crowd erupts for Spark.L and you cheer them on. It's always a blast of joy to see a rookie group earn their first ever music show win. You truly do wish them the best. The producers usher you and the other losing performers [[backstage|lose ending]] one last time.